What if God was one of Us?

                                             June 15, 2004
                                                          Las Vegas Nevada

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     After handing out gospel slips, praying, wrestling with my anger, loathing about being broke out in the 110 degree Vegas heat we walked into a casino and I could hear it over the din of the slot machines; they were playing that song. "What if God was one of us?" It poured out of somewhere high in the casino ceiling as if the angels themselves were singing it to us. It was really actually a sublime moment. What was even more sublime is that my than wife realized it too and looked at me with a bashful second of belief in me as if she was doing something she shouldn't.

                                                        

April 29, 2014

Kalamazoo Michigan 

 a decade later

I don't know what happened to that man Lord. Did the Universe finally give up on me? Did I give up on me? I am a tired old man, my lungs hurt from abuse, my eyes burn all day, and I am all alone.

                              June 16, 2004 Las Vegas Nevada

                         looking back to my old self for answers

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I am ready now the time is now. I am determined to do the will of my Father to the death. I know what my destiny is now. Its hard to believe it. But I'm starting to get the Idea. The amount I believe and have faith in God is the same as I must believe in myself. Because I am.

I am totally defensless unable to help myself. But therein lies my defense. I rely completely on the lord.