Monday, March 31, 2014



                                                                file # 465599830094

Name: Unknown (John Doe)

Cause of Death: Unknown
Location: 40ft South of street marker "Forest Street"
                 27ft East of street marker "Park Street"
Disposition: City Morgue
Probale date of Death: July 3, 1966
Personal Items: No wallet. No identification. Four papers in front pocket titled:
Three ladies
Evening prayer
morning prayer
Absent Minded Guru: The Long road home.

forwarded to the desk of Lt. John Chilldress: Investigator

Three Ladies

     They appeared in the vestibule wearing there dark burquas, these three women, when I was just only born. When they moved into the house next to my childhood they tried to seduce my oldest brother. One skinny, one fat, one Mother. In my mid-life crises they stood on the street corner in long black robes protesting the end of the world. Now that my beard is gray and my hair half gone they wait for me with arms outstretched, wading in the primordial soup.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Evening Prayer

It used to be I would get down on my knees at the foot of the bed and beg you for forgiveness and tell you how much I love you and beg you for forgiveness for not doing better and feeling like somehow I was meant for something better than this why would I spend the last decade feeling convinced that you were trying to tell me I was your son, the second coming of Christ. Judy told me I was the one at her bedside, Devon a little fourth grader told me I was the one walking down the hallway, a bum pushing a shopping cart down the street in HOLLYWOOD purposefully moved to the other side of the street screaming at me "what do you want with me Lord, stay away from me Lord!" The old man I had never met before told me the same thing, even my psychologist told me he didn't think he was qualified  and was in no position to do the job I was asking him to do. I looked in the mirror and saw you the way I saw you when I saw you thirty seven years ago only it was me. I have been a miserable failure at everything I have ever done, I have nineteen dollars in my bank account, one weeks left of unemployment, a wife who isn't really my wife, her Father and her Son will have nothing to do with me, no job, and you are still trying to tell me that I am the one everybody is waiting for! I went forty one days without eating just so I could tell you I went one more day than you, and you went camping with me. My lungs really hurt, is it cancer or are they just healing? I am the one? how can this be. So....what you are saying is that basically I am the son of God, able to cast out demons, walk on water, I wish I could make Glasses on or off ( that's an alias so I don't incriminate anyone : but if I turned out to actually be God and nine months from now she would be ecstatic so it wouldn't matter anyway) pregnant with just my words so her and her husband could be happy and her anguish would go away. There family is so lovely, and she is so depressed without a child. Sometimes people do a double take when they look at me, and it is very scary, because they know who i am and go about there business anyway. How did I disappoint you Father, how much further away from the truth can I be. One time while at the Museum people were looking at some manuscripts in a glass case. My Mom whispered too me that some day people would be looking at my manuscripts the same way! Ill never forget it. She wasn't one to encourage me all the time, or at least I didn't know about it. But when she said that it was wonderful, unbelievable, but wonderful. One day when I walked in too work and it was raining cats and dogs outside my boss said to me, " Okay! We get it! you are the one, now can you make it stop!" Two years later she would fire me. O my Father this is such a lonely road. Mary Magadeline makes fun of me and my Christ Complex. My psychologist would answer me when I told him of my delima " who am I to say you are, or arent?" Turns out he was qualified for the job. For whatever this means, and whatever this life is, I love you Father and am glad to be on my way home. Thanks you for forgiving my wondering and my straying. I am sorry if my absence hurt you. I know you have feelings too.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Morning prayer

Morning Prayer
     My master, why have you awoken me? What caused you to sound the Shoafer before the sun could exhale upon your lands? Surely there are others that are more worthy than feel your kiss upon the neck! I have been good for nothing sovereign master. Look! See how the fields you have given me have returned no fruit! The treasures you have entrusted your servant with have been thrown away in my drunkenness at the market place! Please don't open my eyes for I am ashamed to see you face and I am not worthy to share the same space with your glory!Forgive me master and send me penniless and naked away from your estate. Don't allow me , the very least of your servants to defile your name any longer! It is better that your grace send me away to the abyss, never to return.
    My Master! Why have you awoken me? There is your son! I see him approaching the doorway, his starburst already scattering the darkness within! Where can I hide my shame? How can I outrun my keeper? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Absent minded Guru- The long road home.

The long road home has to have a beginning? What if the whole journey is the beginning!

 The Universe has been trying to tell you who you really are and what your really are.

But you just cant believe it. It is too much, its to big, its to incredible.

I am here to tell you it is all true. You have done it before, and you will do it again!